It took a long time for me to get to this point, but...I live here now. It hit me as I was sitting in the brunch spot downstairs in my building. (oh yes, there is a place for brunch in the building. I now understand why rappers are always bragging about who is in the building. If that building has a legitimate brunch spot, I'd tell everyone I was in the building too. Actually...hey ya'll...J is in the building) None of the experiences I've been having lately feel new. They just feel like...well, another day. Wait, that's not entirely true...
Expat Knee Grow Experience:
The fine people of Korea like to remind me on a regular basis that I am tall and/or big. Which is true. I am tall and/or big depending on your own personal point of view. The children I teach love to remind me, and I tend to take it all in stride since I realize me being this size isn't normal for them like it is for me. However one night, I was out walking, and...well it got weird.
So I'm wearing a black t-shirt and jeans on the evening in question, (as I'm wont to do) with my goal being NOT to attract unwarranted attention to myself. For those who don't know me, I don't like being the center of attention. No wait, scratch that, I LOVE being the center of attention when I'm in control. I hate being out of control and also being the center of attention. I refer to this as my zoo exhibit principle.
At a zoo, the animals, or exhibits aren't in control of who is staring at them which is why we build GIANT cages and enclosures because those animals would probably attack us. All of them would. Even the koalas. You haven't felt a fury like the explosion that is an angry pack of koalas. However, remove the animals from the zoo, put them in the wild, and the majority of them, with the exception, of course of the apex predators, would probably rather leave us alone. This is simply because (at least in my mind) in the wild, they feel as if they have more control over the interaction. They can attack, they can leave, but the point is there are options.
When I'm the center of attention in a classroom, I have control. I can make these kids do whatever I want, and as any of the children I teach will tell you, one of my most important rules is that they recognize that I am the authority or they get checked. However, put me in a crowd and have a random group of Koreans who want to hug and feel my arms/skin/body all rush at me, and well, I don't like that.
The biggest problem with that analogy is that most people who run into a tiger in the wild would be afraid. We all know what a tiger can do. I don't have that going for me. At least not here. Here in South Korea, I'm a tiger in a world that has never watched a minute of any nature documentaries. I almost want to sponsor a showing of Boyz N The Hood or Menace 2 Society in the local theatre just so I can go back to being feared. Not that I should be feared. I'm harmless in most situations. But I miss being left alone because of that fear.
But I've digressed.As I'm minding my own business, four young men and one young woman all come up to me and begin speaking to me in broken English. This part of the experience was not new. That happens. A lot. I get it though. If I spent a lot of years learning another language that I rarely got to speak, I'd jump on every opportunity to speak it too. Then it got...weird.
A bunch of the boys were saying "Michael Jordan!" and I smiled and replied in English, "Yes, I am tall like Michael Jordan". Then they began grabbing my arms and gesturing for me to make a muscle. Which was not cool with me. I just started back working out, my arms aren't that muscular, I'm not breaking out the gun show in public, in a foreign land, for strange men when I'm only rocking cap guns. Not going to do it. So I refused. Then the Korean girl asked me if she could hug me. I think. I really couldn't understand what she said, but then she hugged me like I was Barney. I really think if I had started singing and dancing they would have clapped and laughed, drank some juice, ate some cookies, and had nap time.
Okay probably not, but at this point, I was getting weirded out. So I said goodbye in both English and (I think) Korean and tried to leave. They weren't having any of that. They followed me. For way farther than they should have. I feared for my safety. Not really. I feared more for my sanity.
I escaped (obviously) thanks to the people who were with me.
Another weird thing is men telling me they want to be my friend upon meeting me for the first time. I don't have the heart to tell them that I have enough friends. I just smile and say sure. Then I make up and excuse to walk away and never see them again. Yay, we're friends.
On the plus side, that friendliness has helped me get a lot of stuff done when I would have had to Google Translate my way through an ordeal. So I don't get too upset about it. But that having been said, it still has its moments.
Don't worry, there's more, I just have actual real life responsibilities to handle. Like for instance, going downstairs and grabbing brunch.
